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Madison Howard

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2025-01-21 13:24:50

In-Law Vacation turned nightmare

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Which is still dismissive and shows he doesn't trust or respect your words or your perception of events. Why is there a question of you exaggerating? You experience what you experience. And your perception of what you experience is valid. They're your feelings!

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For the first event 1.5 years ago, I have room for understanding bc my last relationship (before pandemic - I took a couple years off and loads of therapy), I was with someone who was (later) diagnosed BPD/NPD. I didn’t meet the “other” side of him until 3 years in, and then, when I finally untangled myself from the gaslighting/triangulating, realized that all the stories he’d told me about various situations and people, etc. were false. Now, I find it helpful to observe and I don’t get triggered If someone newer to me doesn’t believe everything (bc I wish I’d taken the time to find out the truth of events, prior).

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I get this. I really do. Has your boyfriend had similar experiences in previous relationships? That would explain his lack of trust. If not, while you have taught yourself "to observe" in these types of situations, he operates from a different mindset. I think my concern about your boyfriend's reaction stems from his lack of compassion for your experience, given his knowledge of your history with family trips.

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Yes: His one adult LT relationship of 8 years, his gf was diagnosed with somatic symptom disorder. She misunderstood it as “I’m making this all up in my head” instead of “I’m literally not dealing with trauma and it manifests physically”. She ignored that diagnosis bc of the misunderstanding. So, every week, she had a different symptom, and she was often in and out of doctors’ offices, sometimes the ER, etc. while they couldn’t give her a diagnosis. This went on almost the entirety of their relationship.

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