I'm honestly starting to get tired of everything and everyone

I'm honestly so tired of life at this point. No matter how much I try bringing myself hope and trying new things - therapy, walks, manifesting, trying to fix a routine, everything seems extremely exhausting. I have an exam in less than 6 days and I just don't feel like touching my books. I want to cry. I know such pathetic people who are a disgrace to human race being loved, cared for and cherished and I get to feel none of those things because the people I have in my life, be it my friends or my partner always leave me when I'm at my worst. I constantly feel unloved, demotivated, suicidal, unaccomplished and disrespected and I cannot stand it anymore. I cannot stand being in this body. I'd honestly be anyone but myself rn. My life was so beautiful at some point and rn I have no social life, my academic life is going for a toss, I don't have anyone to confide in and I have constantly been abused. I don't know how to break the cycle and wtf I should do to make my life more fulfilling and what I should do to make myself happy. I'm tired of even trying at this point because every new start is encountered by such a gigantic hurdle and I'd rather die than crossing it. I couldn't have felt more lonely, lost, humiliated and ruined in my life than I feel at this particular moment in time. If only there was some way I could just disappear. I've honestly given my all and I don't have anymore to give myself.