I finally feel so understood

I’ve struggled with “acting my age” for a long time. I have a lot of mental illnesses due to repeated severe trauma I went through as a kid, but I thought maybe that was the reason exactly.

I wasn’t allowed to do a lot of kid stuff. I didn’t have a lot of toys, had my stuffies stripped from me at a young age, never celebrated my bday. But I’ve always been good with kids. I could get into that mindset and join their games, and it makes me happy.

I wanna learn all of it again. I love going to toy stores and playing with toys but I struggle with the shame and embarrassment. I struggle with these episodes of involuntary age regression where I get really scared and panicky because I feel like I’m back there again. I started practicing age regression to maybe heal that kid in me and just… be a kid.

If you have any tips or advice for being little that would be great. My little space is probably between like 5-7.