Response to executive disfunction

At this point I just want to place what I am feeling. I was diagnosed with adhd in 5th grade (I’m 20 now) and have tested negative for autism. I have such bad executive disfunction when doing history or analysis of a topic that doesn’t interest me. I have done so much therapy in my time that I can sooth feelings of guilt or comparison, I know this is just the way I work. Part of it is definitely the feeling that what I am doing doesn’t matter, I know that a million other students have written the exact same thing so what does it matter if I write anything. But by far the worst part is the physical feeling… my brain feels like it is expanding, the only reason it’s not pouring out of my ears is because it’s not the right consistency to do so. And right now what is bothering me is I can’t find anyone talking about a physical feeling, just the psychological aspects that I already know how to approach.