Convince me to not do meth again please

Im going through a lot of things, im having arguments and verbal fights with my gf daily for the last 2-3 weeks about our future, i have no one to talk to except her and everytime i try to open a conversation about my mental problems i feel attacked and judged by her, i cant stop drinking and thinking about relapsing on medication, lately i have the extreme urge to do drugs again (im clean for 3 months), all i think about is doing meth or mdma or some other hard drugs like heroin ( which i never tried in my life ), all i have is my abusive mother, my cute cat and my judgemental non-understanding girlfriend, i dont know what to do anymore, i slowly lose hope and purpose on life, i cant do what i love because of mood problems, i cant relax and chill because of constant negative thoughts and im so close to relapse again... so please someone try to convince me to not ruin my brain again by doing hard drugs please because i feel like if i relapse im gonna be back again to the deep hole that i was 3 months ago... ill lose everything probably... idk