My friends, I need help to woo my beloved.

I, Fennel, a fluffy queen of the highest order, am in desperate need of help and advice on how to woo my beloved. His name is Turnip, is that not the most wonderful name? Though he is perhaps not the sharpest, he is so very handsome.

Unfortunately he does not return my affections, and will often attack me physically when I attempt closeness. Sometimes he is drowsy and I am able to press myself against him, and I purr so loudly the human servant claims she is quite unable to focus!

But alas, if I do not get my timing right, he will use teeth and claws to express his disdain for my unerring love. I know he cares for me deep down, and his violence does not represent his true character. Alas it leaves me heart broken every time.

The human servant believes I should give him space, but I cannot bare to be parted! I wish to press my body against his, I almost wish to I could press deep inside him, so much so that I could wear his skin as mine and we could become one, sighs, but the human servant says I am creepy for the way I follow him and constantly attempt to press my love upon him. Obviously I disagree.

I need help mine friends, my beloved will love me back, it is inevitable, I simply need a way to show him how we are destined to be together forever.