Welp, I cried yesterday but not from a book

This past year, I fell back in love with reading for the first time since I was a kid and specifically dove into fantasy romance.

I have a history of depression/anxiety, and it was/is such a fun escape. It's been a rough year, and I love how I can always dive into a different world.

I've been untangling trauma from home and church growing up. Fantasy romance gave me more confidence and that I can overcome these challenges.

My husband, brother in law, and husband's bestie make occasional comments because of my smut books

The tone implies, "This is dumb and smutty eith no substance." I'll explain my book, plot, etc.

A few months ago, I told my husband that those comments hurt when you commented on my hobbies and things I really enjoyed. He has lessened his comments, but they are still there.

Yesterday, we were out with husband, BIL/SIL, and I brought my book (not out of the ordinarily). I'll occasionally make a face or close my book if I'm not feeling like reading a particularly smutty scene with them around.

My husband started to read the back cover in a slightly mocking tone. I was fed up and shoved the book at him if he was so interested in reading.

He read a particular sentence and commented, "Oh dang, this is bad writing," with my BIL chiming in "shocking"

It was then that I had it. I was pissed. My BIL then goes, "So what percentage of your books do you feel like are bad writing, but you read them for a happy ending?" And other shitty questions.

I became quiet, and everyone could tell I was not myself any longer. We left and I was as soon as I was in the car I was crying. I yelled about how I don't make fun of every fucking hobby yall have or do together, etc. I'm constantly having to defend myself and what I like or act like it's just some silly book.

My husband apologized but I stayed cold last night. Fuck you. My husband is more aware now and I made it clear to STFU. But it still hurts. So I cried and cried. I'm a sensitive bitch with a rough exterior that wants to be left to my books. Needed a community to share with

EDIT: Thank y'all for being so supportive🥹 my husband and I had a long/difficult conversation that ended with the choice to move forward together. Moving forward, meaning we either do the work (couples counseling, continuing to voice feelings, personal growth on our own) or decide this is over together. He acknowledges that smut books make him uncomfortable, and that's for him to work on. I made it clear that he HAS to be in my corner and support me, and if not, there's no point. I'm not coming here to say, "omg everything is better," but more so, thank you for being a community I knew I could come to. I know that moving forward, I need to continue being myself and either make drastic changes in my marriage or leave. Maybe I'll regret this choice later on, but this is the choice I made right now.

As far as my BIL and others - I'm about to become the pettiest bitch ever.