I don’t recognize him anymore

My ex (28M) broke up with me (25F) 2.5 months ago, and last time we spoke was over a month ago. We were together for over a year, everything was great, we were so sure of each other, we had plans for the future.

That was until he got depressed. He turned into someone I couldn’t recognize anymore, he pushed me away and blamed me for everything. Before depression, he was really joyful and positive. I think what triggered his depression was not having a job, his ego refusing to do anything about it, and betrayal in their family.

I know he didn’t wish for this illness, but it hurts how I went from being someone’s world to being discarded like trash. After our breakup, he isolated himself from everyone – me, our friends, and social media. He kept tabs on me by viewing my stories and asking our friends about me, but I think he stopped after a month of no contact. Sometimes I wish he would remove our photo on his insta so I can really tell myself that it’s over.

It hurts because I still love him and I can’t help but blame myself, despite crying everyday and begging him to let me help him for months. I wish I noticed the signs earlier.

I was already doing well in moving on, but now it feels like I’m back to square one. I feel so betrayed. All that love, sacrifice, and pain for nothing.