My job application (nsfw) (alternate version)

Reason why you should hire me: numba one: im black (so i have a BBC) Numba two. I graduated from the school of hard knocks aka the skreets with phd in general pimpology and wig splittin certificate so i can pimp yo bitch, yo ride and this estabelishment to make it look dope and split the wig of any mothafucka who tries to hit a lick, namsayin? Numba tree: i can make yo bitch cream with my BBC to instantly make more mayonase I hope i can work at the bomb-ass mcdonalds. Please accept my resume. References: joe budden, p diddy (FREE DIDDY), my plug Julio (he sells me that good shit namsayin? hehehe) and my momma (i luv u ma)