Lend me 30 seconds of your time…

Imagine someone dedicating their life—not to something they love, but to something they hate. There’s this guy, let’s call him Anti-Star Wars Guy. He shows up at every Star Wars event, every theater premiere, and even follows fans to local cafés and bars after the credits roll.

At first, I thought, “Wow, that’s some serious commitment—maybe he’s just misunderstood?” So, I talked to him. And what I heard? Wild. He said he hates Star Wars. But not just him—there’s a whole network of them. Some are bitter ex-fans, some are just die-hard Trekkies, and some… they don’t care about Star Wars at all. They simply hate seeing fans happy.

Their mission? To convince fans—you and me—to stop loving Star Wars. They honestly believe that if enough of us denounce it, Disney and Lucasfilm will stop making movies, delete everything from streaming platforms, erase every comic and novel, and… I don’t know, vaporize George Lucas into thin air?

It’s absurd. Their dedication to spreading negativity dwarfs most fans’ passion for celebrating what they love. They strategize in Discord servers, they have burner phones (seriously, burner phones!), and they trade fake “conversion stories” of people who supposedly turned against Star Wars—stories that fall apart faster than a Stormtrooper’s aim when you dig into them.

They have spreadsheets tracking superfans. They analyze posts, hunt for vulnerabilities, and—get this—hope to weaponize those against the fandom.

It’s cartoonish. It’s like watching someone scream at the tide, demanding the ocean stop being wet. And yet… they keep showing up. Every movie, every event, every thread online.

So, next time you see one of these AMC Meltdowners—or Melties, as they’re affectionately(?) called—don’t stress. They’re not here to win. They’re just here to yell. And honestly? Every smile, every cheer, every lightsaber ignited in joy… that’s their defeat.

An AMC Meltdowner is someone whose entire goal is to stop you from enjoying Star Wars, not because they have something better to offer, but because your happiness bothers them. They’re loud, they’re irrational, and most importantly—they’re losing.

Stay bright, stay loud, and may the Force be with you.

Have an amazing Saturday, fellow ape rebels.