I am going to kill myself: here’s the actual evidence

Sorry if the titles a bit abrupt, but I think I’ve found my resolve. I I initially desired to wait until I got to uni, but I just don’t have it in me to wait. Things do not get better; adding onto this, I am so fundamentally flawed as a person that there is no feasible alternative even if I were to delay. Here’s the timeline of events.

-by 25th of September, I will finish writing my suicide note.

-by 27th, I will get my affairs in order (give money to the poor that I have, resign from my positions in school, etc).

-by 30th, I should have my last meal. I don’t intend to make things harder for other by committing suicide on a full stomach.

-on the first, I will jump in front of a train. This should be it.

After/on the first, search up for any disruptions on the Elizabeth line London.

I wanted to do this to prove that im committed. I’ve always wanted to do it, now I have to act.

I can’t do it, I’m reneging but I can’t do it, I want to do it but the risk of failure is too high. I’m sorry to everyone but it’ll happen eventually I promise but I need to find a way and the funny thing was last night I was feeling happy I thought that being so close to suicide would make me stop but instead after today I’m just proven that things don’t get better. Sorry for writing so much sorry for the excuses but I will and when I do I will tell THE WHOLE WORLD except the people I know because I want to have done at least one thing correctly 🙏🏻

I’m not depressed, I’m just unhappy. I’m not mentally ill, I am just unhappy. I think there’s something really wrong ínside of me