Looking for a caring, compassionate doctor… please help!

Hello, I just want to preface this by saying I understand that there are lots of similar questions in this subreddit, and that the search function would/could help. That said, I’ve searched, and found nothing containing keywords for local stl dr’s who can help me specifically.

I am a 31m, my past late-pediatric/early-adult care was extremely unprofessional, rude, and condescending. I haven’t been to a doctor (aside from urgent care for Covid and the like) for nearly 14-15 years. I had severe medical/white-coat trauma/whatever-you-wanna-call-it from my previous doctors. I spent ages 12/13-18/19 (don’t quite remember exactly) being seen by my parents adult doctor who listened to my complaints and decided that I was just depressed. I KNEW back then it wasn’t just simple depression, or even GAD, as the doc seemed to wanna prescribe for. This guy just gave me antidepressants and traumatized me by gaslighting me into trying to believe that all that was wrong was depression when, in retrospect after learning I may be autistic, is just completely untrue. I don’t need, or even want medication most of the time for what im struggling with, I just NEED A DOC WHO UNDERSTANDS!! (Understanding being, I need them to understand neurodivergence, be accepting of it, and not just push me to the the curb when I mention autism/adhd/anxiety/etc. considering most of the older docs these days just think it’s bullshit type stuff) I don’t trust doctors in general, but ESPECIALLY if they don’t even fucking listen to what I’m saying.

I need a doctor who will listen to me, and understand/comprehend my issues further than “oh, that sounds like depression/anxiety, here is an ssri!!” (or if not, I’m even fine with a little placating on my behalf) but I’m just tired of drs who don’t listen, don’t care about their patients any more than “I spent my 15 with them, and wrote a prescription, so they’re good!!” Type folks.

If you have anyone that you, as a neurodivergent person, uses as a primary care physician, and specifically if they have openings within the next month or even two, I would GREATLY appreciate a referral. I’m tired of being talked down to, tired of being told that “I’m too young” for whatever ailment I have.

sorry, but this text is meant to be yelled: I JUST FUCKING WANT A DOCTOR WHO IS TRULY INVESTED IN MY HEALTH AND WELLBEING. Not just ALWAYS placating, not just ALWAYS writing a script to get me out of office, but someone who I can go to, spend an hour with for my initial meeting so I can have the time necessary to get out my issues without feeling rushed, and someone who will take the time to research and get back to me on whatever issues I bring up.

Please, please help me. I just quit alcohol, which was my biggest crutch in dealing with life as a potentially-undiagnosed-autistic, and I am spiraling so fast lately.

I need help. Please.