The worst job in the world.

That would be mine. Being a SAHD. My wife and I once let our oldest brush her own teeth and she ended up with cavities. It was a mistake. We fixed it. But we almost had a war over it; my wife was over the top mad about it.

So I’m forever on top of teeth brushing and my wife never does and only helps with it when prompted by me (like when our 3 y/o insists that Mommy brush teeth).

Now I get constantly criticized by my wife for “wasting toothpaste.” Brushing kids’ teeth can be challenging; toothpaste can get wasted, so I use a bit more. I’d rather use an extra squirt of toothpaste than get cavities. But I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

Tonight we achieved a new level of criticism. I brushed my 3 y/o’s teeth. She wanted a banana awhile after that. I gave her one. I went to brush her teeth again. She only wanted to do it, not have me do it, so I let her to avoid a total meltdown.

Awhile after that, I brought her the toothbrush and tried to brush her teeth, but she wanted Mommy to do it, so I asked my wife. My wife did it. She then got mad at me when she realized she had already brushed our 3 y/o’s teeth before this (but after the banana) but she didn’t tell me that. I didn’t see that, so I didn’t know.

So it’s my fault that my wife brushed our 3 y/o’s teeth twice? I’m apparently supposed to be monitoring everyone’s actions every second. Like my wife didn’t remember what she had just done and I didn’t see it and so that was somehow my fault. That’s a new level of blame. A new level of hell. The worst job in the world.