Let’s be kinder to each other

There has been a lot of disgruntled comments/ posts lately in this sub. For myriad reasons, we all have a unique experience as a med spouse. And, we all have a collective experience.

That said, I appreciate that it is annoying to see posts that are about dating and usually have nothing to do with being a doctor. But I also see people getting frustrated with folks just venting about how hard it is while in med school or whatever their partner might be.

Just as I see people roll their eyes and get frustrated with those people, I can say the same for those in their top location that live with their partner in a short residency, but I try not to because this isn’t the Olympics for who has it the hardest.

People are going to have a learning curve when they first start med school or first start clinicals or when they first move or whatever it might be! Let’s have some compassion. I’m not out here judging a med spouse with three kids saying “I told you it would be hard! You knew it would be hard! Why do you have three kids and complaining?” Because that would be really shitty. And before you all come for me on this topic, yes there are a million reasons why someone might have three kids in residency that are frankly none of my damn business! I support and salute you guys!

For those that have been in it for a long time, let’s try to remember where we started while also providing an honest perspective. We won’t always agree because we aren’t a monolith, and this lifestyle isn’t for everyone. But I’m trying in 2025 not to be bitter about those who have it easier than me or who are at the finish line, and I’m going to have some compassion for all going through a challenging time. That’s all I ask of us! And if a post isn’t for you, simply scroll on rather than comment something rude.

And if you feel like you have no spoons to give, my DMs are open because yea it can get really hard. There are peaks and valleys. And a reminder that being a doctor is not an excuse to be a shitty, neglectful or abusive partner!!! Hope that helps.