Ninja Banner Monkey's Paw

Just trying to kill some time before silhouettes in like 4 hours, so let's do some monkey's paw!

For those unfamiliar, the "monkey's paw" refers to a magical item (a monkey's paw) that grants wishes, and when a wish is granted, one of the fingers on the paw curls. The wish also comes with some unforseen negative aspect. As an example, here's mine:

"I wish for Ninja Ike!" the monkey's paw curls "He's a prfless axe infantry demote..."