Trying to figure it all out.

It's been 2 weeks now since the break up. And it's been a very hard 2 weeks. The main issue I'm having is going between the 2 moods of "What do I have to do to get her back" and "This'll be alright, I'm gonna be happy."

If I'm being honest, I'm very depressed right now, to the brink of being suicidal. I know I need help, I need therapy, and I need to go see a doctor. I can't live like this. I truly thought with every braincell that me and her were perfect with each other.

Our 15 month old son is having a rough time too right now. He's bouncing around family members while me and her work and then take care of him 50/50. It's exhausting, for the both of us.

All I want to do, is run back into that apartment, look her in the eyes and say "I love you, I want to work this out with you." And not take no for an answer, but it's not that easy.

If anyone sees this, please comment, I would like to vent out as much as I can right now. It's alot right now just clouding my brain....thanks.