DAE always lack mental energy? Genuine excitement?

I don’t mean in the literal sense where you’re tired. But like nothing is exciting. You have little emotional energy towards anything - even stuff you enjoy. Nothing has meaning or matters so I remember very little. There’s no emotional attachment to most things.

This is a lifetime of feeling like this. Like any emotion I experience is superficial and doesn’t connect to my brain. I’ve taken antidepressants previously when depression took hold during a rough time and it brought me back to how I feel now. But I never really experience energizing emotional responses.

People give someone a gift and they’re all “omg thank you!!” And excitedly hug them or something. I have to fake most of that similar type of energy because it’s what everyone else seems to be like. Internally I’m just “oh, cool.” But outwardly I have to be smiling with a sincere appreciation and admiration of the gift. Even if I genuinely like the gift.

It’s all a facade. A mask. And now I’m not sure what’s considered normal or not. If I’m mentally delayed. Or clinically depressed. A self-involved cunt. Is it normal to be faking genuine excitement, the kind you can feel in your heart and mind? Is that even a real thing or something I just assume people experience? I get glimmers of that occasionally. But typically my default emotion for everything is “meh.”

Thoughts?