Something weird happened yesterday

It's been 4 months since our last escapade. Another 4 months from the time before that. So basically sex one time in the last 8 months.

Last Sunday, about 10 days ago, I (28HLF) cracked and suggested maybe we are better as just friends. 8 years to untangle and start again. He (31LLM) said no, let's try to fix things.

So the last 10 days or so since then passed without any sex but Whatever, I'm used to it. Until last night, he invited me to join for a shower. We showered he massaged my head and one thing led to another. But we were kissing and I couldn't do it...? I felt like I was getting suffocated, I was so not in to it, no lady boner whatsoever. So I said sorry but I can't do this and we stopped.

So I finally got the thing I've wanted, but when I finally got it I didn't want it anymore.

Go figure