Finally Broke

Hi all. I really just need to discuss this, maybe it's just to get it off my chest, be affirmed, whatever.

I'm a theatrical technician and work in my dream theater. I fought hard to earn a house crew position here and I genuinely want to sit in this job for decades to come. I can't imagine doing anything else full-time, infact I don't want to think about it.

I'm in a junior position here and am in the best spot to take the next lead position. The leads here have been sitting in their position for decades, and of course they are all men. There were a couple of leads that were women previously, however, since I've worked here I've worked with 2 other women in the same "department" as me but not working directly with me.

I had a gut instinct when I started that because I was surrounded exclusively with men that I wouldn't be able to stay here long-term. The mental and emotional toll of working with these guys is so taxing. I happened to run into one of the previous leads that is a woman, we're in the same union so it was bound to happen. Our conversation was everything I expected. She told me point blank, "They won't listen to you across the street [different department we work closely with], but the guys you work with won't listen to you either."

When I first got here I was fucking enamored. These guys took interest in my success as a technician, cheered me on, and I foolishly thought I was respected. I think in hindsight it was just them lusting after the younger woman on the job because I definitely saw them do it to others.

This season I've really hit my limit. One of the leads went out of his way to treat me like shit in front of everyone. There was one point where I made a suggestion of a task to tackle as a crew and he straight up laughed at me in front of everyone and said we weren't going to get to it. My jaw hit the deck with how condescending he was and I looked straight at my supervisor who was present and he rolled his eyes at me and told the crew to go clean. I was stunned. I was certainly not shocked when 30 minutes later another boss came over and he told me he needed the crew to get started on the project I suggested. My supervisor later told me that it was the task we should have been doing.

I hit my absolute limit a couple days ago though. I was to call a flying piece into deck so we could strike it. We have a bunch of extra guys on the call to help with another theatre and they all got brought in to help with the move. Everyone gets into position and right off the bat one of the leads starts yelling out trying to call what was happening. I was eyes in the sky and had a much better perspective and he kept shouting over me after I repeatedly told him I have eyes and just did the process in reverse the previous day. We finally get it into a position to bring in and I have to call over radio to bring the piece in while the same lead is yelling on deck. I was absolutely frustrated with the situation. My supervisor who was working with 4 other guys to maneuver the piece calls back that he's not going to bring it in until I ask nicely. He of course brought it in when a man told him to. I said something to him about it as I was passing him by on the ladder and he just goes "Ooooo" in response like a fucking child in front of all these fucking guys and I'm the only woman in the goddamn theatre.

This is my dream job, I love my work, I don't want to do anything except what I do here and I want to do it here. I just don't get paid enough to deal with these fuckheads.

Anyone else give up their dream job because of the assholes that ruin it?