High body count girlfriend

Early on, I [M23] asked my girlfriend [W25] how many people she had been with, and she told me 6. A few months ago, while I was drunk, I looked through her phone and found a long list of names—many more than 6. When I confronted her about it, she couldn’t give me an exact number, but I counted at least 20, all from the past 1.5 years before we met. There was even a time when she had slept with three different guys within a few hours.

Before I found this out, our relationship felt very healthy, and I trusted her. For the first time, I could really see a future with someone. But since then, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. It feels like she’s a completely different person. What makes it harder is that she’s not very sexual with me. It’s difficult to even get her interested in being intimate, yet from what I found, she was much more active before we met. She told me she’s not a very sexual person anymore, but it feels strange because we have less sex in a month than she used to have in a day. I asked if she regretted any of it, and she said no, which hurt me. She justified it by saying she was looking for love, but I saw messages where she was on Tinder and Hinge, just asking guys if she could come over, sometimes without even knowing them.

This has really shaken my trust. When she goes out, I find myself feeling uneasy because I know she’s been in situations where she randomly met someone and ended up sleeping with them. I wonder if I can trust someone who, in the past, could easily end up back at someone’s place.

To complicate things, before I met her, I was in a really bad place mentally. I was borderline suicidal and feeling extremely lonely. Having her around has helped me make a lot of progress in my mental health, and I’m scared that if I end the relationship, I could fall back into that dark place. At the same time, I can’t stop thinking about how many men she’s been with, and it’s affecting how I see our future together. I come from a more traditional background, not from the U.S., so maybe that’s why this is so difficult for me to process.

I feel stuck. I think about it every day, wondering if I should continue this relationship, but I’m not sure I can move forward knowing this about her past. I also can’t imagine the mother of my children having this history, and it’s really weighing on me.