Husband has wandering eye but denies it…I feel like I’m going crazy

New poster (31F) but would love some insight from those with more experience. I have been with my husband (32M) since I was 21 and have never really had another serious partner. Within the last couple of years, my husband has made some significant improvements to his physical appearance and is definitely getting more attention from the opposite sex. I have caught him looking at women in public frequently and have noticed he intentionally connects eyes with women who are looking at him. Every time I call him out on it, or tell him it’s making me uncomfortable, he completely dismisses me and tries to argue that I have no idea what he is looking at and am making inaccurate assumptions. He’ll also frequently say I’m not comfortable being in the presence of women and that it’s a me-problem to work out with my therapist. This is not how I feel at all, and I do not feel uncomfortable or competitive with women when he is not around. It’s almost like a weight is taken off me when I am out alone, and don’t have to worry about him when an attractive woman enters the room. I have always had strong relationships with women and have a pretty high regard for myself and my own appearance. So I really don’t think this is a problem with my self confidence like he suggests. I just wish he would at least talk to me about this and be honest instead of just denying. When I won’t accept his denial he will just refuse to talk to me for however long it takes till I apologize and say I was in the wrong.

As far as I know my husband does not watch porn or look at women on the internet. He even says he has never masturbated to another person (even when I am honest and admit that I have!) He uses this as proof that he does not have a wandering eye and is only interested in me. I really do believe he wouldn’t cheat on me (he did when we were in the first stage of our relationship and says he would never want to hurt me like that again) but it feels really disrespectful how he acts around women in public. And I worry that it’s probably worse when I’m not around. Maybe I’m being sensitive or letting my pride get in my way, but this change has been making it really hard to go out in public with my husband. I feel like an incident happens every time and we are fighting so much more. I feel less confident in his presence and am so much more aware of people around me, it’s exhausting.

Has anyone experienced this issue with a partner and found a way to get them to communicate? Do I need to just move on and feel lucky for what I have, knowing a wandering eye is not the worst thing? Any advice is welcome!!