Wife hid almost $20k in credit card debt, we recently bought a house - it’s not the first time.

The title says it all. Early last year we were looking for a house, I found out she had significant credit card debt. I paid it off for her.

This last fall, I thought our finances were in order - we bought a house. Significant issues with the lending process, apparently the underwriter was new - the loan officer said that was the reason.

Come to find out over the past three months, during the home buying process, she’s racked up about $15k more, for a new total near $20k.

She says she’s insecure about money. And apparently it’s my fault she doesn’t tell me because I overreacted the first time - the first time I paid it off out of pocket and asked for transparency. Was I shocked then? Yes. Am I shocked now? Less so.

When I brought up the new $20k in debt, she asked for a divorce.

I did go through her phone to find those statements and accounts. AITAH?