Boss told me I need to fix my RBF

Brief description of my job just so you all can get an idea of my work environment. I work for a small business pertaining to lawn care. I specifically work in the office portion of the company and it’s relatively laid back compared to other office environments. Our company does not permit customers to show up to the office, so we work through phone calls. The only face-to-face interactions our customers get is with their assigned lawn technicians. Never us office employees.

Onto the issue at hand. I got called into my manager’s office yesterday because she wanted to express some concerns she had with me. I could ignore everything else she said to me. The other concerns were small, aside from this one particular thing she takes issue with. Breaking it down to bare bones, she told me I have “resting bitch face” and that I need to fix that issue. Now this isn’t what she said verbatim. She was careful enough to phrase it professionally. It went something like, “When you are frustrated, you wear your aggressions heavily on your face. I think this is something that you could work on in order to maintain a positive environment here in the office.” She also moved on to blame my autism for this behavior. Except she didn’t refer to it as autism. She chose “ADD” instead. Her suggestion was that I figure out a way to work through it because “we all have something.”

This threw me completely off guard. She wholeheartedly meant what she said. I cannot for the life of me think of why she felt the need to say something like this to me. I’m always productive. And not once have I ever taken my aggressions out on my coworkers, or any of our customers. I’m never short, passive aggressive, or anything remotely close. Not that I haven’t thought about it. I just desperately need this job. More importantly, I feel extremely insulted and hurt that she would speak down to me because of my autism.

Most recommendations will tell me to speak to the owner. Thing is, my manager is the owner’s wife. It’s a family business. So I have nobody to take my concerns to. I feel trapped in a way. I can’t leave this job because I need more experience in an office position. I’ve only been here for 6 months. I used to love my job and how close we all used to be. But since the owner’s wife has taken over as manager, many of us are strongly considering quitting.

I need suggestions. Is it too soon for me to look for a replacement job in a similar field? Can she get away with saying these things? Any advice is welcome.