No family at wedding

I planned my wedding since August '21.

I will marry the love of my life and I am really looking forward to it. We are getting married at the end of September this year.

The only problem is my family. My mother had a few strokes when I was six years old. Since then she's very shy with people, which is why she's only coming for the official part. I'm fine with that. I would love for her to be at the dinner and party but I respect her boundaries.

When writing the invites I included my whole family except for one uncle. I didn't want this uncle there because he SA me when I was a child (my family doesn't know this) and he's kinda racist, believing Covid and "new medicine" is a scam. The problem there is, my grandma lives with him. So my grandma is not coming because this uncle didn't get an invite.

My oldest uncle and aunt are away on vacation. The mail just came. My fiance and I sent the invites last december. Both of them are in retirement.

My next aunt and uncle will only come for the official part because I didn't include the uncle first mentioned and the aunt doesn't like partying.

My uncle, aunt and youngest cousin most likely won't come because my uncle doesn't get the vacation because of chances at his work place.

My cousine and her boyfriend probably won't get the vacation. She is studying to become a lawyer. So no fault on her side.

The only person of my family really coming and staying for Dinner is my same age cousine who is also a bridesmaid.

I'm just really sad that my family will not be there to celebrate the day with me. I kinda envy my future husband because the 22 people of his family will show up and stay for dinner.

I get my friends to be there and celebrate and my fiance is great with everything. I just wish it went different. I just wish someone of my family would RSVP yes and stay for dinner.

My fiance and I wanted our familys to meet there because there never was a chance before. But now this won't happen.

I am just sad and needed to vent. It makes me want to elope instead of a big wedding but now it's too late.

I think a big part in my feelings is that I am the only child of a single mother. My cousins are all two children with married parents. As a kid I often felt left out and my family gave me a feeling of being the odd one. Like telling me I'm not that smart. I always were trying my best, at school, sport, etc. but it was never good enough. I were told my cousins were better in just about everything. They got the vacations with family and the family adventure days and I stayed home. It just got worse after my mom had the strokes and kinda needed help. But just to clarify I don't resent my family. They are stuck in old thinking patterns and they tried their best to give me love.

As I said, sorry for the vent. And I just wanted this off my chest.

Sorry for any mistakes as I am on mobile and english isn't my first language.