I broke the addiction by accident.

Some recent events have lead to me no longer craving trees.

I have been gradually admitting to myself that I am dependent, needing some form of daily dose and I started to use it at times that, while responsible, were interfering with my productivity and negatively affecting my life. Sometimes it was inappropriate; ie. doing more than a reasonable amount while working from home. I knew I needed to address this as it had become a problem but I wasn’t, and still haven’t been, willing to admit it to anyone else.

I’ve recently hit my 30’s, and just VERY recently discovered I have ADHD, and I’m officially diagnosed and was medicated as of the next day. I don’t want to go into specifics as to what medication I’m using, because I’m not putting this out as advice to others, but I suppose I feel I need this in order to begin my new journey of trying to better myself. I’ve got nothing against the stuff or anyone who uses it in any amount, but for me it was actively a problem and has been for years where and has gotten progressively worse and I chose not to see it happening.

My world has changed with this new medication, it has been very beneficial to me in many ways. One way is that I don’t crave it anymore. I don’t have an answer why that is the case, I just don’t crave it. It was a habit for so long so naturally I still think about it, but it has become so much easier for me to ignore that. I smoked with a friend last night for the social aspect and here we are the day after and that hasn’t even reignited my cravings.

This is still quite new but I’m ecstatic about this change. I feel so much more clear headed and I know that is largely in part due to my new diagnosis, but I also know it is due to the smoking. Last night helped me prove that to myself.

I’m very pro cannabis, but if I can manage to still use it socially and also limit my use and put an end to my addiction, that will be preferred. If I can’t, then I will have to say goodbye to it forever. With how I’ve been feeling, that would be okay.

Thank you for being my sounding board, I truly love this community. Happy holidays everyone and make sure to be true to yourself and do what you feel is best for you.