I just cut off my father. (Tw childhood abuse)

My father physically abused me for all of childhood, gave me a mental disorder called borderline personality disorder. He severely fucked up my early childhood development and abandoned me when I was very young. My mother supported me all by herself, with absolutely 0 help from him, and even then she tried so hard for us to have a relationship, only to go to his house and be abused even more.

I am not out to him as trans, but he recently found out my girlfriend is trans. Today he just told me that he is cancelling Christmas with my only living grandparents because of my girlfriend. Well come to find out after texting my grandma that christmas is not cancelled, I'm just not invited.

He is very openly transphobic, I detransitioned when I was younger because of his hatred. I am now a very open and proud trans man, and I know he will not accept that. All my life I just wanted him to love and accept me for who I am, but he could never do that, even if I am his only living child.

He can put on all the delusions of grandeur he wants, but I will always see him for what he is. A 50 year old man who failed all of his life, failed everybody around him, mooched off his parents for years because he refused to work, and is now mooching off his poor wife who is wholly unaware of his past.

I'm sick of it, I'm sick of him. I'm done. It hurts so much though, I just want my father to love me. I just want him to respect me. Deep down inside of me there is that little girl screaming and crying begging to be loved. But now everything has been said and done, and there is no going back or fixing my personality disorder.