TIFU by shaving by balls before flying

It took me a while before realizing this is a good TIFU post.

About a year ago I was visiting my mom while she was working in Hawaii (she's a flight attendant for some billionaire and has to stay in Hawaii for weeks on end).

A colleague of hers was also staying at the same hotel, we went to breakfast together, but since my flight was impending, I left breakfast early to leave and get showered and packed. My mom still had some industry talk to be had with her colleague, so I told her I'll call her to come up to the room when I'm ready.

During the time I was in Hawaii I had noticed my balls were itchy because of my pubes. I didn't want to be uncomfortable for my 5 hour flight to California so as I showered, I grabbed my razor and shaved by balls...not super unusual, but it doesn't happen all the time.

As I was towelling off, I had a big red spot on the towel, and looked down to see blood streaming down my leg. It freaked my out for a second until I saw that I nicked my ballsack.

I thought 'no big deal, I'll just put some tissue on it' as I would for my face, if cut it while shaving.

I was totally wrong.

My nutsack continued to bleed liberally, as I desperately tried to stop it compressing it with a lot of toilet paper. It kept bleeding, a lot.

I found that pinching the skin, then putting a tissue on it seemed to be the way to go. But when I stopped pinching it, the blood continued to flow uncontrollably. All I could do was stand in the bathroom, with one hand to get ready, and the other pinching my ballsack so it wouldn't bleed everywhere. The entire time, I'm getting more and more desperate for time to catch my flight.

So here I am, in my mom's hotel room for her work trip, in a rush to catch my flight, with an uncontrollably bleeding nutsack. My mom is still at breakfast with her colleague. I don't know what to do except to call her, while she was still at breakfast, and ask if she has any band aids.

She asked me if I'm okay and instructed me to look into her toiletry bag. I said of course, but as the mother she is, continued to ask if everything is alright. I insisted everything is okay, and said I'll be ready in 10 minutes. Meanwhile, I was pinching my nutsack, which stopped the bleeding. But as I applied the bandage the bleeding started again, completely soiling the bandage and continuing the flow of blood.

At this point I became desperate. For small cuts I like to use superglue to remedy them. It was originally invented by the military in the Vietnam War after all.

I called my mom again, stupidly asking if she had any superglue in her bag or if it is possible to ask the front desk if they have any. She sounded concerned and began asking more questions.

To cease the interrogation, I explained to her that there are certain moments in a man's life where he needs to make sure he is comfortable - particularly before a 5 hour plane ride - and that I was slightly less than careful, and between everything, I had made a mistake. And that I am bleeding and need either some superglue or more band aids.

My mom ended up coming up to the room.

She had brought more band aids from the front desk. She suggested taking a maxi-pad to line my underwear for the flight, on top of the band aid. I took that advice, and it felt like wearing a front-diaper. Luckily, at that point, pinching the part where I was bleeding from seemed to have slowed it down, and a big band aid seemed to cover/absorb the blood when I stopped pinching it.

I got to the airport, walked through, uncomfortably, but without difficulty, checking every now and then that I wasn't bleeding to death.

My dad met me on the other side, we went to dinner and we had a laugh about it, but I still had to check to make sure I wasn't bleeding.

Thanks for taking care of me, mom. Love you.

TL;DR Shaved my balls before a flight, cut my nuts, bled everywhere, mom saved me.