"cohesive family" is it possible??

Hi folks,

I want to preface this by stating that my partner and I have a plan to talk about this shortly - and I'm just looking to see if anyone else has had a similar conversation or has found resolution to this issue.

My partner is wanting a "more cohesive family" dynamic between the three of us. We have been together for several years, and I don't live with them. SK is great - they are a smart, and awesome kiddo, and I want to support them but in a 'fun aunt' way. In general, children kind of stress me out, as I'm an introvert. I try to make time to spend with the two of them in addition to giving them space, and I'm utterly drained after those 'family hangout' times. Moreover, I have zero interest in intimacy with my partner after an afternoon of kiddo stuff.

From what my partner has communicated, he feels like my needs are at odds with SK's needs, and he wants to be a partner and a parent at the same time. SK is on the younger side (6), and needs a lot of active attention and parenting. This translates to me struggling to feel connected to my partner when he's parenting. I guess I'm okay with this split of me getting a partner 1/2, but it's not working for my partner.

What can I do to help him feel better about this situation? Any input and experience is welcomed!!