it won't shut up :3

I ain't gonna make any sense here but fuck it, another vent / ramble post

I'm so tired of having to listen to my head. all these shitty thoughts barely ever stop. I'm already drowning myself for screen time (it's probably like 12 hours a day at the very least, probably closer to like 16) just so I can shut my brain up, but it's still there. At this point I just want someone to lobotomize me so my silly brain doesn't work anymore. I feel so happy when I don't have to think, and can just distract myself with silly stuff. who cares if I haven't touched a school assignment in three weeks, who cares if I'm failing all my classes, who cares if I feel like all of my friends could live without me, who cares that I had to lose the hair I spent three years growing, who cares that I have cancer. I don't have to care about that if I just didn't have to think :3333