Bohandi attack on Zeta Reticuli

When I was writing Bohandi backstory, I wrote a few stories about them from a few points of their history. Here is one story I wrote about the battle of Zeta Reticuli at the end of the Grey Wars. 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UvbmXbG7cTrMhBHSlz8u9qoeQXyT9KOkiqkfyv-nIXs/edit?usp=sharing

I would like for you to review it and comment. Any advice on how to improve it would be nice, as well as any comments and/or lists on what you liked/disliked here.