Remakes

The problem with the remake was that there's been ***A*** remake.

Rocky was written as a stage production. A brand new cast and new and different take for every city is par for the course. It's one of the things which distinguishes live theater. Go look up the soundtrack on Spotify- There's the movie sountrack, the London cast, the original Broadway cast, the 2000 Broadway cast, versions in Japanese, Spanish, and a couple languages I can't even identify, a punk version, a bunch of bands who covered the entire album....

If it's being filmed, there should either be a single definitive version, or a dozen different remakes and remixes with a dozen different directors each having a different vision, like with the play and the albums. The problem was that there was only ONE remake of the film.

I want an all black cast with Billy Porter as Frank and Terry Crews as Rocky. Orlando Jones as Riff and William Jackson Harper as Brad with Jordan Peele directing.

I want to go back in time and get movie versions with Terrance Mann and Anthony Stewart Head as Frank- Then see John Malkovich, John Lithgow, and John Barrowman each take a turn.

I want a version where Jack Black plays Eddie, because Jack Black would Jack Black the fuck out of that part.

I want an all female cast and I want an all male drag cast. I want a Hispanic cast with the entire thing performed in Spanish. We all know it by heart, so we don't even need subtitles.

I want Tim Burton to direct a version with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter JUST to see how Danny Elfman will cover the music.

I want all of them streaming on Netflix and Amazon, except the one amazing version that you can only get from scalpers on eBay or finding a bootleg DVD at a flea market, just so that you can say you've seen it and own a copy for bragging rights.

Bring it on. Bring it ALL ON.

​

​