My boyfriend thinks about his ex during sex

  • Been with him for two years
  • This information isn’t an assumption he told me (to clarify it came up in conversation while we were talking about Instagram and I pushed the question out of stupid curiosity to which he answered.)
  • We live together

SIDENOTE: he wants to know how he can make it better. I have no answer to that I’ve never felt this hurt.

He’s thought about his ex during sex at least 20 times. This makes me not want to share any intimacy with him. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to have sex with him fully confident ever again.

He looks at hot girls on Instagram and jacks off to them all the time. I dunno this one also hurt. When you watch porn you’re being turned on by sex but when you look at a picture you’re specifically fantasizing about them.

All of this rubs me the wrong way.

I try my very very best to be a good girlfriend, I’m great at sex and have a high sex drive. I guess I’m feeling inadequate? Undesirable? He keeps telling me that I’m enough and that he likes my body. I’m having a lot of trouble believing him. I feel cheated without actually being cheated on.

I don’t know what to do I’m so overwhelmed that my face hurts. Sometimes I get really overwhelmed and can’t process my emotions so then my head feels like it’s filling up with pressure.

My friends are asleep and I’m at a mental low so I was hoping some advice from strangers may ease my mind.

Also I wanted to point out that our sex is legitimately good. I’m always down for sex. Always enthusiastic. Love giving head. Theres more but I assure you sex isn’t boring which is why I’m so confused

My brain has gone incognito I’m reading your comments but it may take longer to respond. I will reply though!

EDIT: I just woke up to see how many positive and supportive responses I’ve received. I’ve been very down so I really appreciate everyone who’s commented

Edit: hi (: thanks for the awards and the kind comments. I’ve been crying and feeling overwhelmed all day so reading your comments made me feel a whole lot better. Sorry for not getting back to everyone