Mourning my old life

Our border collie pup is 5 months old and he's been a lot to deal with. Seems there's new behaviors starting as soon as you begin making progress on others. We are working with a trainer and remaining positive that over time we will have a dog that's at least pleasant to be around.

We mostly work from home, and I dread the days when I am alone with him. On these days I generally have him for 12 hours and I am just exhausted with not having a minute to myself. He does not switch off and "settle" only works for as long as he is having treats dropped.

I wish he could just chill with me in the room where I work but he just starts going wild after 5 minutes and completely unmanageable.

During work hours I have him in his crate for naps but whenever the kong runs out or if he hears me talking on a work call, the barking starts. He is outside in the garden frequently for the toilet and is walked for half an hour before work and at lunchtime. I am new to this job and I'm finding it incredibly stressful to deal with the distractions.

Even when I finish work for the day and try to relax after playing with him outside, he barks in the crate. I have two cats and today I just let him bark and my cat came over looking for some love and I honestly wanted to go sit in the car just to get away from everything and sit alone and quiet for 5 minutes.

It is such a long day and I am so fed up being woken at 6 by barking, scurrying out into the cold straight away to walk this dog and begin the 12 hours of stress.

The house is a mess, my partner does contribute to the care of the dog but I feel like I am so much more stressed by it and want to address the barking quickly as none of my neighbours probably appreciate being woken at 6am or having a dog barking all through the day. I feel like she doesn't want to hear how I feel about this and that my frustration is some huge issue that I should put aside.

We have an appointment to meet with a doggy daycare person on Friday and the thought of him being away for one day makes me want to cry with relief. She may refuse when she sees what he's like, of course.

I'm alone with him again tomorrow and already wishing I was in the office instead.

I miss my old life today.