Not so puppy anymore still acting up

My pup (blue heeler/pit) is 2 years 7 months....she still does the same antics every day. The advice I constantly get is: more exercise! Even if we run around in the field for hour, train, play tug, give her a lick mat and go on a long walk: she comes home and is destructive. Or is maybe fine for a few hours and then is back to 100.

I'm constantly anxious and on guard, and she dramatically effects my mood because every day I feel like a failure. We're having a good day, I take her to run around and she randomly snaps on me and starts biting and it makes me spiral. And then we get home and I look away for a second, she's stolen something from the counter, or chewing up my shoe, or scratching up the couch. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong, or how to make her be a better dog. It feels I need her to be in place 24/7 because the second she moves or leaves my sight, she's destroying something.

Lately I've just been nervous that she's going to snap one of these days and really hurt me. I feel like she hates me, and that I'm never ever doing enough despite my entire days revolving around her and trying to make her happy/satisfied. After 2 years of this I'm exhausted.