Feel like I’m watching myself in 3rd person

Ever since my trauma, I’ve felt like I’m not in control of my life and I’m just going through the motions. Especially at work. It feels like my memories are wrapped in fog and that they aren’t even mine. It’s really depressing. I used to be a 17 yr old girl filled with sunshine and kindness and now I feel like an angry gloomy day. And it’s so exhausting putting up a front of being that 17 yr old girl everyone was used to. I’m only 19 now and my whole life has changed. I feel like a completely different person and I’m so sad about it. It’s so hard to explain but I feel like I’m only the voice in my head and anything I experience is happening to someone else. Just venting here.