Self-Consciousness :/

I’ve been collecting squishmallows for a little over 2 years now. Recently I’ve realized I’m self-conscious about having said collection in the presence of most people. I’ve been known to say, in essence, “showing someone my squishmallows is more intimate than showing them my left tǐt“

As a neurodivergent person with CPTSD they’ve been a wonderful hyper-fixation and self-soothe tool. Especially since I’ve gone California sober (alcohol free), they’ve been an immense source of dopamine & joy for me. In my view, using my ‘fun’ earnings to buy a squishmallow every now & then is better than spending it on alcohol.

I’ve gifted many squishmallows to neurodivergent friends, sold others, but tend to keep most of them for myself. In terms of those that I keep, I use them to “nest” and to sleep. In some occasions, I even use them as canvases for crafts such as crochet & patch-sewing.

Oftentimes I feel like this interest puts people off, especially those in neurotypical crowds. While I don’t particularly care what most people think of my unmasked ass, it’s uncomfortable being made to feel like plush enjoyers are inherently childish & strange. At the same time, however, so what if it’s inherently childish & strange?? I like it & I would prefer not to have to justify such things.

Has anyone else experienced this? I’m open to any questions, comments, concerns (lol).