partner is 1 month sober!

Hey everyone.

As the title says, my boyfriend has been sober from Percs and Oxys for the past 30 days. For the last 4 years, he’s been dealing with all types of painkillers, which led him to overdose and be hospitalized. Luckily, he survived after 3 consecutive heart attacks and was legally presumed dead for a couple of minutes.

During his stay in the ER, he realized how much it had impacted me and his family life. To this day, he’s still trying to make amends and frequently apologizes by planning cute date ideas, which I missed a lot because the last 2 months were just a completely dark phase, especially with his excessive usage due to his paranoia, panic attacks, PTSD, and more.

I know and I’m aware he has good intentions and wants to do better by my side every day, as well as for himself. But this event has impacted me a lot; the pain in his mom’s voice shattered my heart into pieces, and seeing him battle addictions in his hospital bed broke me.

My father passed away a year before this incident happened with my partner. I spent the evening at the ER, grieving.

I hate the month of November now.

To all my fellow friends who have been sober from opiates, can you please tell me how I should act towards him when he sometimes speaks about his urge to relapse?

I tend to be emotional sometimes because I just think about those tragic events when he "trauma dumps" me from his POV. But I want to support him well. I love him dearly and I want to have a better approach. And yes, healing isn’t linear.

I just feel like I’ve been on the edge lately, and I’m scared that I’m not helping his situation.