I wanna retire

So what I mean by that is that i have a pattern we’re ill talk to a few guys at once (I don’t wanna call myself a player cuz I tbh don’t really think I fit that definition.) then after a while when I kinda get bored or find smo else I’ll slowly distancing myself from them or just straight up tell them that “hey this isn’t gonna work out” ik its bad but most of the guys that I talk too are doing the same thing (here for a good time not a long time) yes I’m young and dumb and foolish but I was talking to this one guy and I feel bad that I can’t be with him, we live in different countries and i am currently doing an exchange in his country for three months, I told him this at the start but he forgets and starts talking about being together and stuff but its making me feel terrible and causing me yo deep think cuz wtf am I doing with my life. I am here to talking to a different set of guys every month but I wanna stop and actually find smt real but then again I think I’m blinded by the thought of love is (and other things along those lines). Then again I think I’m too immature to actually be in love. I am dumb to think I can actually like smo