No friends and the reason why below....

So, a little about why I suffer from depression and have no friends etc...

I was born with a skin disorder that makes me look different than others. So different that people think I'm contagious (because they're either shallow or just severely uneducated or were brought up as such). I don't have friends and it's extremely hard. My skin condition causes tumors on my skin and has changed my appearance to the point where I just want to hide and have a job at home away from others instead of with USPS.

I do go out in public, but I don't have a normal life by any stretch. Tonight, I met a friend of my mom's for a drink (she's also my friend) but, I know I should have my own so I can do fun things. Don't get me wrong, she's a ton of fun but I feel like I'm taking my mom's friends away in a way. My mom can't get around very well right now so I can't hang out with my mom unless it's at her house which to be honest gets repetitive and boring. I am off work for just a couple weeks recovering from a surgery and yes, I'm enjoying it because work is not fun. Work for me includes bullying and harassment from others including supervisors. And no nothing can be done because they don't CARE!! No, I'm not going to look for another job either because I'm in my late 40's and employment hasn't been easy in the past because of my physical appearance. I've literally been told by potential employers that they would need to put me in the back room so that patients/ clients etc. aren't scared off. I've been with USPS for almost 6 years (this July).

I went to Europe last April and I was left out of activities people did during the free time. I know this is because of how I look. I was treated differently by the tour director because of this as well. This May I'm going on another trip by myself with the same tour company but with a Tour Coordinator connected to the group. I've almost backed out a few times because of how the last trip went and I think going alone is really bothering me. The other people either know someone in our group or they know the tour coordinator very well. I am from another state and don't know anyone. I am trying to make friends, and I tried last April but that blew up in my face. It's not easy for me to make friends for obvious reasons and even though I have tried in the past I've gotten denied in some way. I really don't enjoy life because when you have the condition I have it's difficult not to be depressed in some way shape or form.

Sadly, people are shallow, uneducated, are scared off (and they don't bother asking questions) or were raised to treat others with "differences" the way they do. I have been asked about my condition and to be honest I don't mind sharing. I especially don't mind sharing that you're not going to get it by being friends with me or by even shaking my hand. I'm looking for a friend or just general support. I don't need to be told it gets better because after 40+ years of living the same way I know it won't. I hate empty promises and I've heard it all before.