Which one should come first...

I was having an argument the other day with someone on here. It was about how men are looking for submissive wives and women are looking for a man who is a leader.

So which one should come first, should the wife be submissive first for the man to be a leader, or should the man be a good leader first so that the woman can submit.

Because I find that if a man knows who who he is, is strong in their beliefs, and values his family above anything else( you can add some more values), then his wife will naturally submit to him without even asking.

IDK what do you think?