Living in my own personal hell

I just need to vent and I have no one.... so here goes.

I feel like I'm living in a hellscape designed just for me and I don't know how to get out. My husband(34M), our son(2M) and I(25F) have been living with my parents for the last year and half. I met my husband in college, once he graduated we moved to his home country in Europe. We were there for 3 years. When we moved back, my parents bought a house to renovate for us to rent. We knew it'd take a few months to renovate so that's okay, no biggie. We have jobs and our son goes to daycare, I opened a business and it's doing well... everything should be good.

Well, it's been over a year and half since we moved back and I feel like I'm losing my fucking mind. This house is so horrible for my mental health, every day I relive the traumas of my teenage years. I see the hole in the wall that's covered by a shitty saying. No one in my family knows that my ex boyfriend put my head through that wall. No one knows about all the times I hurt myself in the room that I now have to share with my husband and son. My husband knows that I'm suffering but doesnt care to know why or do anything about it since we're obviously saving money right now. He says that I'm just irrational when I have bad days and cant stop crying.

It's just depressing. Idk what to do, idk who to talk to. I haven't slept through the night in 3 years. I just want it all the be over with. I have no one and this life is just becoming incredibly tiring and discouraging despite it seemingly like everything is going perfectly. Thanks for reading if you made it this far.