I just wanna know if anyone else has this?

I’m going to start by saying that this isn’t something I consider bad or scary. It might just be my brain trying to cope with grief, but I have a voice/feeling of a presence on my right side. I lost a friend that was very dear to me who always sat on my right and I’m kinda figuring out as I type this, that this might just be me trying to get that bond with someone back and feel happy the way I used to again.

Basically, whenever anything funny, shocking, cringe or etc happens I will immediately look to my right and say something to that presence and laugh at the response. For example:

Coworker: says something cringe Me: looks to my right Oh hell no, we gotta go Voice on my right: Girl gtfo outta here because WHAT!?

And usually the responses are funnier because it’ll absolutely send me into a laughing fit. It feels like the most normal thing in the world because the presence feels so real that it’s like I’ve got a buddy with me constantly. It’s nice, it’s comforting.

Maybe I went and self soothed too hard or something like that, maybe talking myself down from panic attacks like another person was comforting me did some damage to my brain, but now I got this guy chillin with me wherever I go and it’s like my best friend now. I’m hesitant to bring this up to my therapist because I don’t wanna get into it with her because I want to switch therapists anyways and I don’t think she likes me that much anyways. Yikes.

Well, if anyone has experienced this or whatever lmk cause it feels a bit weird to be so chill with something like that.