How to finally commit

I am 20 years old, 6 ft tall, and 290 lb an just struggle to have the discipline/drive to stay consistent on weight loss. I originally was 240 lb in 2020, and by counting calories and being in a 1000-calorie deficit (1600 calories), I lost all of the weight in around a year and was about 165. I had never once cheated on my diet nor had any difficulty doing so until I got to my goal weight when I ran into some issues, for the first time cheating on my diet which led to me only being over a few hundred cals in that day and I carried it over every single day and still ate 1600 cals most days but tried to do less and I did this for months I know this is bad know and I eventually ended up having a day where I didnt care and I went over and then I did that every single day for the next year all while counting cals but not deficiting and I gained up to 280 in about a year eating prob around 3000 to 5000 cals most days basically just procrastinating getting back on my diet saying Ill start tomorrow that entire year all because of one day I decided to let it go. I understand I did this unhealthily before, but now I'm just having no luck getting myself to stay motivated, and I just end up most days saying, "I don't care." Since then I've maintained around the same weight for the last 2 years but have had countless attempts where I lasted 1 day or 1 week until I began binging again, with the longest streak being around 3 weeks. But I just can't stay consistent; the main thing is me just not caring really, or if I do last a long time, I get stressed out in school and end up stress eating. All while having more calories to work with to as the year I lost weight I was doing basically no physical activity, but I now have a part-time job while in college and go to the gym at least a few times a month (I was going consistently 5x a week for a few months until I got sciatica but have kind of done a similar thing as I did with my diet and now only get myself to go in once a week if I'm lucky). I've tried upping my calories too, but I always am just all for nothing. I'll have days where I don't struggle to eat nothing that day, or I'll just try and eat maintenance calories but end up eating over still. I'm not even really trying to eat healthy foods, and I've at least been able to stay completely away from sodas since quitting them at around 13, or I'd probably be 300+, and I've also tried alternatives to what I eat now, like zero-cal syrup or sugar-free drinks. Just not sure what the next step is, and advice is appreciated.