Day 11, attempted suicide yesterday. When will it get better?

I have been extremely depressed for years - my main reason for getting on weed in the first place - but yesterday was the first time I actually tried to kill myself, though I can remember fantasizing about it since elementary school.

Before anyone asks, yes I am on medication, and yes I have been seeing a therapist for months. In addition to that I'm starting a DBT program in a couple of weeks, and no I will NEVER go to inpatient treatment (for my type II bipolar, my addiction, or anything else) because I was forced into one last summer and came out of it a wholly different, and much worse, human being, because I was not treated like one during my days there, despite my worst crime being experiencing a panic attack in front of a nurse (who, clearly annoyed, threatened to have me restrained if I didn't "calm down", when it felt like I was literally dying).

What I've been reading both here and on other sites isn't encouraging. If I continue feeling this constant, overwhelming depression for many more days I'm just going to finish the job. After my forced stint in the mental hospital they would only release me to the "care" of my parents, the instigators of my depression, who I am still living with. This has not been a very conducive environment for quitting smoking, in fact it's been the complete opposite, and I am not exaggerating when I say I don't have a single friend on the face on this planet, so I could at least have someone to talk to who isn't paid to talk to me, or the assholes who brought me into this shitty Trump-voting world.

If anyone has any advice on getting through this, or information on how long it might take if I'm still feeling so awful at this point (the first three days were extremely bad, quitting cold turkey after being smoking heavily every day for over five years; since then most of the anger/irritability has gone, and I just spend my days crying in bed, only leaving it to take my meds, which seem to be doing shitall), I beg you to share it. I can't bear this for much longer. Please, please someone help me.

One last, slightly unrelated question: will vaping CBD help or hurt? I've been smoking cigs to helps with the anxiety, that's the best I can do right now.

ETA: I was meditating regularly to help with my depression but I can't even do that now. Like, I am mentally incapable of being able to meditate. Exercise makes me feel shittier, I always throw up afterwards no matter how hard/little I pushed myself, and no matter what kind of exercise. I feel like I've tried everything and only gotten worse.