The creativity myth

So I realized something about weed “boosting creativity.” I’m a musician and songwriter and used to swear by the effects of weed on my songwriting ability. But after having been sober for 4 months I realized it’s not about how creative it makes me, it’s about how I FEEL about what I’ve created.

I am, without a doubt, just as creative and certainly more productive without weed but what I’m missing is the sort of false sense of extreme accomplishment or awe over what I’ve created. If I was stoned, I’d have these waves of mania wash over me like, “whoa dude, such a sick melody, I’m so good.” Then I would listen to what I did over and over again, drinking in that self-congratulatory energy. It’s a similar vibe to the “stoner philosopher” who stumbles upon some “wild idea” like “dude, did you ever think about how weird eyeballs are?!” Yes. Lots of people have.

Even though the content of what I was making wasn’t necessarily special, the euphoric rush that weed gave me made me feel like what I did was some grand accomplishment. Then I would bask in that accomplishment and believe that I was great and just misunderstood.

I do miss this feeling, but I understand that it’s a false sense of aggrandizement. It was a lie weed was telling me and it only served to boost my ego instead of feeding my hunger for new ways of exploring songwriting and sound.

I’m curious if anyone else has noticed this…