Have your nipples replaced with pepperonis for $5 million

Your nipples will be removed and replaced with pepperonis. They will never rot or decay and will always taste, look, and smell like the freshest of pepperoni

They feel pain and everything just like any other part of your body so no biting them off. Appearance wise it looks like someone just glued pepperonis over your nipple with a little dab of superglue in the center of the pepperoni.