My girlfriends parents are not agreeing for our marriage just because of my caste, (TLDR)
TLDR : I am a scheduled caste guy in love with an kshatriya girl her father is rejecting me based on my caste
I 26m have been dating 25f my girlfriend from 2 years we met at a university competition. We had a nice vibe liked each other. Things flowed very naturally . We became partners. We never had a proposal or anything we just became partners. Even today the way she looks at me gives me butterflies. I treat her as the princess she is. We did not discuss much about caste at any point in our relationship. She assumed I was from an upper caste because most of my friends were Reddy. We have never discussed it until we thought of getting married. She has no issue with my caste. Her sister and her cousins hate it.
I am an SC scheduled caste Madiga. She is a kshatriya raju.
She spoke to her father. This is his reply "Marry a divorcee , Marry someone who is disabled, Marry someone without money, Marry anyone but that ( a casteist slur )."
I cannot choose the caste I can be born in. I cannot change it. There is a certain perception and social stigma associated with my caste so I usually I am not vocal about it.
Economic aspects
I am definitely upper middle class (We make in the ball park of 5-6 l a month in rents and 30 cr in assets). I am not richer than her though. they are significantly richer (probably 7-10 l a month and 50-70 cr in assets).
Social status
They are big shots in their village. Her father has a large group of friends. Basically is a loan shark in his circle does a lot of things. They have a huge extended family too.
My parents are retired government servant's. We are people who have kept to ourselves mostly. Not much in terms of extended family or friends.
We do have an impeccable bond. We are deeply spiritual. We are not the type to elope. I am also facing resistance from my parents as they are worried that her side may harm me.
- If they do agree will she be alienated ? (from her side of the family)
- Will she regret being with me ?
- She has been with me from a point we did not have any money. I truly love everything about her. She loves me and treat's me like with a lot of TLC. We truly fill each others flaws.
I love her a lot. I don't want to let go but I am an insecure pos. I feel like I am stealing her away from her world. I don't want to do that. The arranged marriage prospects are very very good on her end. I don't think I will ever be able to make that sort of money or live that lifestyle. IMHO she is also much better looking than me. I have no clue why she is with me. We always wanted to start our own business and live on our own. She has issues with her father. She probably finds a soft and comforting person in me. Is that enough for her to stay ? What do I have to offer to her ? I live in this constant fear or being abandoned. I have probably learned to cope with it but it exists at the back of my head.
Thoughts concluded Thanks for reading
EDIT 1
Monetary part my parents were not in really people facing positions like IAS, IPS, or IRS officers. Where they could have amassed that much of wealth. We lived in government quarters for most of our life. Both of my parents were in government services. So they literally saved up everything and purchased 500sq yards outside the city at that point and there are ventures made by officers associations in those they purchases small parcels like 200 sq yards 300sq yards. So it is not what you guys think. If my parents were really corrupt or well connected we would have been much better on the financial front. Also unfortunately my grandfather passed away recently which added about 10 cr and to us.
We literally had zero expenses growing up apart from school fees.
My parents never smoked or drank.
Non veg was once a month.
We never ate out.
Vacations we stayed on government guest houses and travelled in RTC busses.
Govt quarter meant zero rent.
I never had any fancy gizmos.
Hell my parents never even bought fancy clothes tbh. (for themselves and us).
My parents spent their life saving up every penny. It was a miserly life. So that is why we are at this stage today. My father still used a >10k phone. My mother uses >15k phone
Everything they made was put on land and mutual funds.
I are enjoying the fruits of their effort now.
EDIT 2
I am still soaking in everything. I will post an update about the relationship soon.