How to win her back?

So technically I didn't ghost her. I did tell her that things were bad for me and that I needed to be away for a while but that I'd come right back for her, ending it with the words "I love you" but now she hates me and doesn't want a future with me. I'm absolutely distraught. I love this girl so much and the thought of loosing her literally got me reaching for my dad's gun. I'm assuming she thinks I'm unreliable now. That I don't care. That I cant be trusted and I hate it. What can I do to regain her trust in me?