“PatGPT” to replace 500 stake patriarchs
The news is the latest in a wave of companies seeking to cut their workforces through automation.
“This was an easy call to make,” says church spokesperson Teancum Hinckley. “Early testing shows that even the gift of discernment is unable to tell a difference between patriarch-generated and AI-generated blessings. People can still find whatever meaning they want in these. In fact, blessing recipients reported feeling the Spirit 32% more from AI-generated blessings.”
To generate the new blessings, the church simply trained ChatGPT on a handful of blessings from church archives as well as a selection of horoscopes from the early 2000s.
Hinckley also says that the AI-generated blessings also show a marked decrease in statements predicting the timing of the Second Coming, promising the gift of teleportation, and randomly infusing the blessing with vaguely racist Reagan-era conservative talking points.
“This has been by far the church’s most successful foray into artificial intelligence,” says Hinckley, noting the mixed results of past experiments like Susan Bednar’s husband, in which the replicant technology of the time was unable to fully avoid the ‘uncanny valley’ sense of eeriness.
At press time, discussions about using ChatGPT to write conference talks ended when it was revealed that the apostles already began doing so years ago.
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From @thelordsnewsroom on Instagram.
The news is the latest in a wave of companies seeking to cut their workforces through automation.
“This was an easy call to make,” says church spokesperson Teancum Hinckley. “Early testing shows that even the gift of discernment is unable to tell a difference between patriarch-generated and AI-generated blessings. People can still find whatever meaning they want in these. In fact, blessing recipients reported feeling the Spirit 32% more from AI-generated blessings.”
To generate the new blessings, the church simply trained ChatGPT on a handful of blessings from church archives as well as a selection of horoscopes from the early 2000s.
Hinckley also says that the AI-generated blessings also show a marked decrease in statements predicting the timing of the Second Coming, promising the gift of teleportation, and randomly infusing the blessing with vaguely racist Reagan-era conservative talking points.
“This has been by far the church’s most successful foray into artificial intelligence,” says Hinckley, noting the mixed results of past experiments like Susan Bednar’s husband, in which the replicant technology of the time was unable to fully avoid the ‘uncanny valley’ sense of eeriness.
At press time, discussions about using ChatGPT to write conference talks ended when it was revealed that the apostles already began doing so years ago.
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From @thelordsnewsroom on Instagram.