Feel too “damaged” to be able to navigate romantic relationships

I (25F) have been dating for the first time in my life for the last year or so. And I have not once felt like I had a “natural connection” with someone the way others describe it.

I think in the past I have only been comfortable with platonic relationships so whenever there was a vibe of maybe something more I would panic and avoid it/shut it down (romantic relationships were taboo in my household growing up).

Now I’m dating and I’m AWFUL at subtly conveying interest, flirting, physical touch etc. I’m generally kind of self-conscious, timid, and hyper aware of everything happening when getting to know someone. Maybe this makes me give off a standoffish vibe because unless I’m blunt with someone, nothing romantic or sexual ever happens.

Everyone describes love and sex as something that naturally happens if you have that kind of connection with someone. Like almost as unavoidable. I feel like with me I have to put a lot of effort in to make sure I don’t actually push the opportunity away.

Anyway, I just feel kind of broken at this point. It feels like a really unattractive quality for me to have to be so direct with people. It seems to suck all the romance/chemistry out of the room.

If anyone has been felt like this/been through this I would love to hear how you manage because I am stressing over it.